Have you noticed a topic quite “popular” in the media these days is bullying? It’s in the news, the papers, sporting circles, schools and on many levels in the home. It was even brought up by one of my teachers this past week. When we think of bullying, we think of someone hurting another by means of physical force and/or verbal abuse. Both can be debilitating emotionally and physically.
But how about our self talk? How often do we get disappointed in our performance, our thoughts and our reactions? When we get frustrated, do we kick ourselves? Do we tell ourselves we didn’t do well, we should have done better? Do we speak to ourselves sometimes with disgust? Are we our own worst bully?
You go for the 1st workout in weeks, feeling tired and tell yourself after 30 minutes into your regiment, you are lazy, too uncoordinated, feel out of place and have no business being there…you kick yourself out and leave. Forget the fact that you actually did 30 minutes and started your program, that you actually made it to the gym! Day 1 !
Then there’s the run you did with your coworkers to raise money and you couldn’t keep up with them. You tell yourself you are out of shape, over weight, had no business being there…that you are kidding yourself thinking it would be good to run in an event, let alone walk one! Forget the fact you raised funds for a worthy cause, that you got outside in nature and enjoyed doing something “bigger than yourself” that morning.
What about that diet you started? After several days of being focused, you received some bad news and you completely caved, eating your way through a pizza, chicken wings and 5 oversized cookies. You tell yourself you have no willpower or discipline, that you can never get healthy, you are never going to lose the extra weight and should just throw in the towel. You don’t remember that you did 4 days of really healthy eating and it was just one “blunder”. You forgot you are like thousands of others, made a detour and can get back on the right track; you have the means, you have the drive and you really do know what to do.
Do any of these sound familiar in one way or another? Do you beat yourself up in other areas of your life? Possibly business, the way you parent, or your relationships? Consider that bullying starts from within…and so does change. How we talk to ourselves can give us bruises and broken spirits, or it can empower us and transform our lives from the inside out.
Watch your self talk. Notice what you say. Consider yourself to be someone who can change everything about your performance and reactions either by knocking yourself down, or lifting yourself up. Change the bully into an advocate.
