Wellness One Step at a time
How do I begin?
My soulful and fitness trip, Grand Canyon, Alabama Hills, Yosemite, and all the moments in between left me breathless.
I’m incredibly grateful I have the health and drive to do these adventures. I realize this is my happy place and for many it would be pure torture. Truly. Just like going shopping in the Big Apple or LA would not be fun for me; these life-changing fitness moments are my joy. We are all unique in our “happy places of inspiration”.
What I can tell you is I am left inspired and revitalized to raise my bar on living my best life. How do we (I) do this? I ask myself if the choice I am making is one that will help me do another adventure next week, next month, or next year. One moment at a time. One step at a time.
When we started our Rim to Rim trek last Tuesday …we didn’t start at 4:30…instead at 3:15 AM! I went slowly to protect my ankle~ my priority. My husband stayed with me, our friends forged ahead. I’ll never forget the visual of seeing their headlamps in a line under the great big starry sky. Knowing we had no choice but to finish and now we are in the hands of nature, something to respect humbly. We didn’t know what lay ahead, but we did know we’d finish.
Starting out with a beanie and jacket (40 degrees), by 8 am I was in shorts and a sun shirt. Little did I know by the time we crossed the Colorado River a few hours later, we would be in the fully exposed sun, climbing out of the Canyon at 115 degrees sucking the water out of our body… for 4 hours. No shade.
One step at a time.
It didn’t matter how fast we trekked, we (or I ) didn’t care if I finished in a certain amount of time, I cared about the health of my body, my husband, our friends, and finishing safely …just making it up to the South Rim in a healthy way.
We have limits. We need to know our limits. And then find ourselves limitless within these limitations.
One step at a time.
I remember the stream we found and soaked our feet in with the dragonflies gracefully flittering around. I remember seeing a RUNNER sprinting past us going the other way down to the massive river, wondering how they’ll do coming back up. I remember loving my poles. I remember dunking my head (3 x ) under the water hydrations stations at the Ranger’s stations….practically taking a full shower…then feeling rejuvenated and a little child-like. I remember seeing a family of rams and babies on the trail, letting us know it is THEIR trail, not ours. I remember seeing the top of the South Rim, feeling so close to finishing, yet still having another 2 hours to trek up. I remember the clouds towards the last hour which showed up out of nowhere to give us relief. I remember seeing my friend who was way ahead of me that morning, only to stop as he had heat exhaustion and responsibly stopped for a couple of hours to cool down. I remember seeing our other 2 friends who finished before us cheering us on the last 25 yards. And I remember sitting on the South Rim staring out at what we’d done, in complete amazement of what the human body can do.
One moment, one step at a time.
I remember the next morning Brad and I doing yoga on the covered porch of our little cabin with the South Rim (and 100 people) right by us, and savoring the amazing resilience of the human body and even more so of the human spirit.
One step at a time.
Mostly I remember feeling incredibly grateful, humbled, and inspired. Not concerned about time, rather taking in moments.
That day we drive on to explore the Alabama Hills. We woke up to watch the sunrise and lightly hike over these rocks from what seemed like another planet, then off to one of my favorite places ever, Yosemite~ to enjoy another hiking adventure with a body and soul that puts up with my will.
Saving Yosemite’s magic for another time, I need to take a pause and relish the splendor of the Grand Canyon, a hike of a lifetime, and how it challenged me; how I am yearning to keep that spark.
And at the base of it all, knowing we can do nearly anything if we prepare, we have support and we take it one step at a time.
The ripple effect of compassion
I am finding this unaccounted-for, unscheduled time to write this afternoon. Why? Well, you see my 12:30 appointment today needed to be abruptly canceled because she lost her job. She’s devastated and here we are…life changes, and immediately we have to adjust.
I’m sitting here thinking about the ripple effect. Something happened in her company to cause her to lose her job, she then needs to reevaluate her entire life (did I mention she moved to another country for her job?) Her entire world is forever changed. This affects her clients, family, living environment, friends, and in my world, her health and well-being.
Adding on, last week, one of my dear friend’s husbands also lost his job after 30 decades of working with the same Company. They, too, are needing to pivot, adjust, mold, and refigure plans.
The ripple effect now begins. These hardship moments happen out of nowhere. Most likely, we are ill-prepared for what we know could happen… but hope never does.
I personally feel it is good not to worry about all the “what ifs” too much. We can create entire doomsday scenarios out of them and live our lives in the past and future never really enjoying the true blessing of the day. I see this all the time and it can wreak havoc. I can even get caught into this occasionally.
We can worry, stress, fight and be angry. Rarely do we find joy, peace, compassion, or kindness out in these types of issues. What I believe helps enormously, is to be centered, balanced, focused, and healthy-minded (a very mindful diligent daily practice) so when these life-changing events do happen, we can shake it off fairly quickly and get grounded again. Peaceful again. Strong again.
Coming from a place that is centered and confident no matter what winds of change try to blow us over will help us move through these tumultuous times with a steady vigilance.
It’s in times of chaos we can find out who we are, what strengths we have, what compassions we can muster up, and how to create a blessing out of something which devastates us initially.
It will take time. The actions (positively or negatively ) we take when hardships arise will not only effect our present, they will mold and shape our future. They will vibrate outward and v, positively and negatively, and then it is their job to decide how to receive it and how to move on in their way~ and so it goes on.
So, my end thought as I await my next call is how will this client’s bad news effect her future as well as my future? How can I be compassionate to her and support her in this hardship and how can I always be prepared for untimely changes while still living in my present circumstance? How can I be effective in my own version of the pebble in the pond? (ripple effect)
Interesting…as I meditated this morning, my word of the day was (and is) compassion.
That is the ripple effect for me: show compassion, be compassionate.
Being Real
I’ve been writing for many years…I’m guessing 18….maybe more? Weekly. The topics are endless to share. And, most weeks, I have conversations, emotions, and pivotal moments to release.
Yet, I find in some days, weeks, and months, I am “dry”. I don’t know what to share, I don’t know if I can inspire. I wonder if my words even are worthy.
This is how I feel today. And in sharing this, I realize you might feel this way too at times. Possibly more than you talk about.
We want to give our all. We hope our words encourage others, yet there are days and nights when we only want to receive and just be.
This is how I feel today. And in sharing this, I realize you might feel this way too at times. Possibly more than you talk about. We want to give our all. We hope our words encourage others, yet there are days and nights when we only want to receive and just be.
That’s me tonight …me for the last couple of days. The world is fast-moving again and I’m caught up in “wait!…wait for me…wait for me to be ready..!” Wait for me to find a really inspiring nugget, so amazing I can lift others up! Wait! But it’s not with me tonight and yet I think this is exactly the nugget! The nugget is to know we are just fine if we simply need to be. Not to offer, not to lift, not to move, empower, motivate…but to be still. The act of just being vs. doing is all we need at times, and we can be ok with that.
We can go online and realize so many others have all the whiz-bang tools and ideas that at times we can’t compare. I feel that way some days. I wonder how I can be everything.
Yet… when I go very deep, I know I’m perfectly imperfect and that what I have to offer is enough, because I see that in so many I work with too. These humans in my world are spectacular~ and I hope each of them knows this. They are emotional, giving, growing, breaking through, struggling, trying, and trying again. I see the power each person in my life brings to the world, some days more or less than others…yet never giving up… and daily I am inspired~ sometimes it takes my breath away.
So, as I write this, I know others feel as I do…dry…yet at the same time unbelievably inspired by the World and the people in it~ and at the same time overwhelmed to see the blossoming of others…
So…thank you to those who are tired and for showing us how to be real. Thank you to those who are in need of restoration for showing us it’s just fine to fill your cup and to receive so that your cup can be full. This is necessary~truly a non-negotiable.
Thank you to those who ask for what you need so you can nudge the rest of your tribe to help fill your cup. Thank you for those who simply don’t know how to be on fire every day of your life…and for having a cry or two to be real.
You all inspire me, help me and show me that positivity is about knowing you will be ok…even if there’s a struggle bus to carry you along the way. And, thank you for letting me be real, and sharing that although most of the time, I am fired up…there are days I want to just be still. The cool part is in simply writing this, I’m beginning to be fired up again …so thank you.
Wellness words
I wrote this about a year and a half ago, yet I find the message as important now as ever. So many of us are going through big transitions and how we look at our day and navigate through change has so much to do with what words we tell ourselves. I hope if you read this in 2016 it can still hold meaning and if you have never read this, it might invoke positivity into your day and mind.
Words are powerful. They can ignite us both in positive magical ways and create a downward spiral to unknown depths of darkness all too quickly. I’ve been experimenting with myself, as well as a few of my clients on the concept of words and how they alter our way of thinking and doing. Try this….how do these words make you feel, and what emotions do they evoke:
Anger
Doubt
Frustration
Lack
Dark
Difficult
Loser
Heavy
Impossible
Desperate
Sad
Frown
How do you feel right now? Did it create any feeling one way or the other? My guess is it left you feeling less than stellar. You might have started reading this with a pretty positive mindset, then in 3 short seconds, your vibration went from happy to “down” quickly.
Now read these words…see what emotion they evoke:
Elated
Strong
Lively
Generous
Positive
Vibrant
Happy
Successful
Laughter
Create
Amazing
Enjoy
Smile
Did that lift your spirits? I’m guessing you might have rebounded a little seeing something more “light” enter your mind.
The crazy part is these are just words…they are thoughts that we allow to enter our mind, then ripple into our belief system. Not only do we say these words (one way or the other), but we hear them, read them and repeat them to ourselves. We absorb them unconsciously.
Imagine if the only words you truly allow into your life were those which were summed up in the second category. How fantastic would your day be? Imagine if every time you heard, or read, and thoughtful words from the first column, you quickly drew in the opposing meaning and switched your mindset. How different would your day be?
You go into a meeting with self-doubt, you create the opposite meaning in your heart…” confidence”. You start to do your workout feeling tired, you quickly decide you feel the opposite of “energized”. You start your diet feeling defeated already, you quickly turn your attention towards “determined”. Consider practicing and inviting only the 2nd column into your mind for one day. Pay attention to not only what you hear from others, but what you say to yourself. Play. As one of my favorite teachers says daily…” may your words improve upon the silence”. Let your words improve everything about your day! Enjoy and have fun.
To yours in health and wellness~
No more waiting to be perfect
We have passed the Holiday Season and are in the midst of Summer and you finally feel you are getting your groove back. You want to be healthier, start working out more often, eat a little cleaner and maybe lose a few pounds. You want to sleep deeply, get rid of your indigestion, and start to create a healthier body and mind. You’ve spent the last 3 months running around, eating on the go, traveling, and overdoing it and you’re READY to feel amazing!
But wait! There’s your brother-in-law’s 45th Birthday party Friday, your neighbor’s housewarming pool party Sunday, your Company’s annual awards banquet Tuesday, cookie day at your 5-year-old’s school next Friday, soccer ice cream day Friday evening, and National French fry day the following weekend.
Then you think “ yes, I better wait, I might not be perfect, and I “fail”. So why even start? Let’s wait until National French Fry day is over. It will be perfect then. I will be perfect then”! How many times has this scenario played in your head over the past weeks, months, years…dare I say decades?
How many times has this scenario played in your head over the past weeks, months, years…dare I say decades?
Let’s be really honest now. There is no perfect time. (ok, maybe if you were at an all-inclusive Health Spa…I’ll give you that!) In most cases, however, there really isn’t such a thing as perfect until we decide it is. There are certain weeks that might be a little easier than others for certain, however, each day even has its challenges. It’s really up to us to decide how we handle our decisions and …if we will let it take over our lives… or if we will take our lives back.
It’s up to us to decide if we are going to lick the spoon while making cookies for the 5-year-old. You don’t have to! You don’t lick the glue when you do artwork for them. (well, I hope not at least)!
It’s up to us to bring a healthy snack option to our neighbor’s party rather than arrive empty-handed and feel sabotaged because there are only chips and dip accessible.
And it’s up to us to stop kicking the can to the next week; to decide that this is our life…our one life (that we know of) and we are going to take control of what we put into our bodies in each moment.
We are smart and can take control. It’s up to us, but only once we decide so. Even if you are battling an illness (which I hope you are not) each reaction you choose and each liquid and food you choose is just that…you are choosing it.
I realize there might be extraordinary circumstances; however, for 95% of the normal day, go out and decide that you no longer want to kick the can to another week. Take your health back to a top priority that no longer can wait for the perfect week. Get a coach, drag your best friend along, loop in your family, or do this on your own…but do it. You’ve got this!
Wellness poses between the poses
So often we say (or hear)…I’ll be happy “when”. We look for the end goal of our happiness. We also look in the rear view mirror and think, I wish I would have or could have done XYZ “back then”. We are looking behind and in front while we are in transition from the old and into the future.
Do you relate? I do this too sometimes.
As many of you know, I take a lot of yoga. In a Vinyassa practice, for example, we might be moving from Downward dog into Warrior 1, into Warrior 2…the flow. We look at these as our poses to “Get to”. Consider however that the transition from Downward dog into Warrior 1 IS the pose…the movement, the grace, the flow is the movement vs the pose being the one you move into and stay in for a few moments.
This is life, our movement. Our transitions, our flow. I’ve thought deeply about this over the past couple of weeks. How am I embracing my transitions as my “pose” vs how happy I will be when I get “there”?
This is another way of being in the moment. Cherishing the flow, the day, and the growth between the beginning and the destination.
I’ve been playing with reframing my mind that the movement is the destination. It’s a big thought, a way to reframe our minds and consider our choices within the choices. Ready!
Practice this as though there is no real “end goal” but rather the “goal” is the transitions each day between the goals.
Play. Flow. Transition. Transform. Enjoy.
Being Active
Maybe you work out 1 day a week? Maybe you have a personal trainer you work with 2x a week. Or do you go to yoga every day? It’s possible you walk with a friend for 30 minutes 3x a week and then go for a big hike on the weekend. Maybe you do all of the above.
Whatever it is you do, are you having fun? Do you feel that you are staying strong, both in your heart (which is a muscle) and your limbs? Are you enjoying the reality that every time you are active you stay healthier than if you were sedentary?
Often in my industry, we are asked “how often should I work out”? This answer is very subjective. A workout to one might be painful to another and might be too easy for a 3rd.
My personal answer is simple…be active every day and make it FUN! Yes, you heard it, every day. Many will disagree with me as there “should” (according to XYZ magazine and XYZ research be a “rest” day). What exactly IS rest? Let’s get specific here. I said “active”. That can be a walk for a mile in your neighborhood. That can be a restorative yoga class. Or that can be a tough workout with one of Body Firm’s trainers. Activity gets our blood flowing as well as our mood elevated, our heart pumping, and oxygen flowing throughout our body. I also said FUN!. Do something which makes you smile and enjoy your body and your health. Again, it doesn’t have to be hard, it doesn’t have to be sweat-induced craziness, simply get your blood flowing and your smile ignited.
I, for one, feel extremely awesome if I get in an “activity” each and every day. However, there are days I am tired, and a delicious stretching class either at the studio or out in nature is exactly what my heart and blood need. Activity is movement.
I know there are some who work out extremely hard and they say they have a rest day, but if we really take a look at their life, they might go for a walk, or they might do a gentle yoga class, maybe foam roll for a few minutes or some movement on their rest day. Rarely do I see an active, healthy person lounge on the couch all day long not moving. It just doesn’t feel good! It’s when we do sit inside, all day long in a static position that we really feel terrible.
You are your best advocate. You and you alone know if your body needs a little more, or a little less, but consider how you feel on your “off days” and if a movement is what the body is really calling for. For me, on my “off day,” I love to gently move and it’s the gentle movement that helps me recover even quicker.
Of course…great nutrition and hydration are key factors in this…but we will save that for another day!
Wellness The closet
The ’60s, ’70s, and 80’s Closet. Much of my recent discussions with clients have been about transitions, letting go, and embracing space. This is in alignment with the Winter Solstice. When we think about what we are ready for versus what we should let go of, this can be exponentially liberating. I wrote about it last week, so this is an add-on to that mindset. Think about this in a very “basic” sense.
Think of your closet. You have these clothes you bought in 1985, which include Reebok high-tops (pink), IZOD high collared shirt (peach), Niki crop top shirt, and so on. You get my drift. Now, these gave you a lot of pleasure and you might have been quite the fashionista in the day, but eBay awaits. You can either save them in storage for a theme party or let them go to someone who might “need” them now. In their day, they worked.
However, when they no longer do, let them go and free your closet! Then, there might be the very cool jacket you purchased, which looked amazing a few months ago, and although it was incredibly nice looking, it just never fit “right”. You hang onto it as though it will miraculously fit better tomorrow, but it doesn’t. (I have one of these in my car with the receipt being taken back as a metaphor for this letter this coming weekend!) Closets are a little easier than relationships, emotions, or habits. Yet, if you can visualize cleansing your closet, you can visualize yourself letting go of what you are trying to “fit into” with other things and even people in your life. Consider this deeply. We don’t need to carry around with us what no longer (or ever) fits.
Let it go! Release. Free yourself. Get familiar with this feeling of newfound space. Then, embrace the clearing before you fill it back up. Give yourself time to be free. You might just decide to keep it open for a bit before you bring in new emotions, feelings, people, and even clothes that do align with your life now.
Foundations to Live By
Water and lemon with chlorophyl first thing in the morning
Meditating as the sun comes up before you journal
Journaling before emails, media and texts
Listening so you can hear
Self-control to honor your heart
Greens over colorless foods
Local markets, personal gardens and farmer’s markets
Eating to feel satisfied, not full
Probiotic cultured hormone and antibiotic free dairy if tolerated
Good heart healthy fats
seeking wisdom when uncertain
True love over fear
Fresh herbs before salt
Mindful conversations
Pausing and putting yourself in others shoes before gossiping
Fruit before desserts
Openness before judgement
Self-awareness and awareness of others
Sleep, pure deep uninterrupted sleep
Quiet reflective thoughts
Nice conversations instead of disconnecting
Cooking and creating meals
Exploring essential oils
Cycling before driving
Walking before driving
Veggies before fruit
Kindness before frustration
Listening before talking
Letting go when all we want to do is hold on
Finding your passions without influence of others opinions
Pausing before reacting if something doesn’t feel right
Reflection before action
Being comfortable in “YOU”
Looking in the mirror and loving what you see
Taking responsibility for your life
Saying sorry before harboring bitterness
Speaking words if they improve upon silence
Discernment before judgement
Empathy before anger
Grace in all it’s humility
Noticing without judging
Doing the “right thing” without resentment
Curiosity about others
Stretching before sitting
Stretching before getting out of bed
Having integrity with your commitments
Authenticity before hiding behind a facade
Foods which fuel the cells vs foods which only fill the belly
Finding contentment in the simple things before wanting more
Creating a life which help others
Thankfulness before criticism
Genuineness before inhibition
Go with the flow before reluctance
Quickly releasing burdens before being weighed down by them
Trying to look for a win win
Being grateful
Being kind. Aways being kind.
Real food before junk food
Saying things of benefit before just “talking” to hear yourself
Hoping before worrying
Enjoying the moment; living in the moment
Laughter before anger
Releasing jelousness
People before stuff
Being resourceful before buying
Sweating before slumber
Finding natural energy before resorting to caffeine
Considering what might make someone else happy
Relax before over-scheduling yourself
Simplicity before complexity
Write down what you are grateful for every day
Trust before insecurity
Chewing more before rushing
Breathing deeply before sighing
Believing before doubting
Tidy spaces before clutter
Making sure someone else doesn’t need to pick up after you
Creating before consuming
Doing something active every day, easy or difficult
Good books to enrich your soul
Creating friendships everywhere with authenticity and kindness
Solitude before noise
Embracing the present before stressing about an unknown future
Making time to play and laugh
Honesty before white lies
Encouraging before complaining
Activities before procrastination
Listening to your heart
Smiling before frowning
Spending time on your health and wellbeing
Being out with nature
Confidence before weakness
Understanding before you judge
Love before almost anything
Gratitude and appreciation of others
Experiences before doing things for the sake of it.
Originality before comparison
Knowing your identity before seeking validation
Generosity before stinginess
Positivity rules
Believing in yourself
Humility before pride
Compassion before selfishness
Embracing our own imperfections
Embracing other’s imperfections
Cherishing moments before wishing it away
Light heartedness and joy before sorrow
Thinking kind thoughts about yourself
Looking for the good in yourself and others first
Living in your truth before living in someone else’s
Taking time to laugh often and feel free in your spirit
Always be in appreciation~ Tammy Parkinson
Being Mindful
Weekend Wellness: Mindful
The words “mindful and present” has come up in my coaching calls quite often this past week. Not only in the aspect of the clients being mindful and present, but ME remembering to be present and give my full and dedicated attention to each person.
In our busy lives, we tend to jump from appointment to appointment. It might be a morning of getting the kids out the door, the dog walked, navigating through traffic, working on returning emails, scheduling upcoming appointments, packing food for the day, reading through 10 texts, packing your workout clothes, going to the bank, stopping at Whole Foods to get your ginger shot (oh, wait, that’s just me) and this is all before 9 am. Imagine, then your coworker comes up to you and wants your opinion on something important and while you are trying to help them, you are also scanning your calendar worried about a deadline and seeing the phone light up with in incoming call, checking out the phone number on your phone and wondering if you should answer it or let it go to voice mail. At the same time a text comes through from your spouse asking a question, meanwhile your stomach is growling and you are day dreaming about lunch…all while you are nodding and pretending to help your coworker. How present and mindful are you?
Situations happen like this all the time…to me, to everyone I know.
How often do you bring your phone to a lunch with a friend and check your messages constantly? Can you even remember after the lunch half of the conversation?
When you go for a hike, do you feel the need to bring your phone? Maybe you do because you might have something urgent happening, but do you “jolt” and feel the need to respond when someone texts you when situations are not urgent?
How much do you notice on those hikes about nature, your body, the company when you have your mind is constantly checking off what you need to do later in the afternoon?
About a year ago, my husband asked if on our anniversary if we could spend the day in nature, around town, doing everyting we wanted to do, but never once checking our emails or phones. We (gasp) didn’t even plan anything in advance, nor did we check the internet for any “information”. Now, this is easily done when a person is in the boonies and there is no cell service or WiFi (or TV) but when you have it everywhere and to say “no” to it, it was truthfully quite challenging. At the end of the day, I still remember feeling a sense of liberation. We actually scanned magazines and sat side by side just listening to the sounds of nature. We were mindful about just “being”.
My point…you are aware in every sense of what’s going on. You notice what’s around you rather than being disracted continually. You become present.
One of my personal favorite places to become present is in yoga and on my bike. It’s truly just “you”. Your mind, your body. But “yoga” for example is outside of the class as well. Being engaged in what’s going on in that moment either by yourself or with others can completely change when you are able to remove the distractions of before or after what is currently happening in that space of time.
This is big stuff…yet it’s quite simple. Just like my anniversary a while back, create mindfulness about being present, then let the distractions go when it’s not necessary. Leave your phone in your car or purse (or similar) when you dont absolutely need it. Look into your friends eyes when you are spending time together and really truly listen. Take time to smell, taste, sweat and feel what’s around you fully without considering what you need to do in 5 minutes.
I too, need to work on this. When I do, I find I am more relaxed and grounded.
Try, just test this out in little moments like lunches, meetings, walks and even driving. I bet if you do this a teeny bit more daily, your mood and actions will reflect a sense of connectivity with what matters most to you.
Tammy Parkinson
Body Firm Nutrition and Lifestyle Coaching www.mybodyfirm.com
408 896 2639
